Thank You Cards

My husband, Dan, died on April 26th, and his funeral was held May 4th.  Since then I’ve been tackling the task of writing thank you cards to the people who gave a gift in my husband’s memory or helped us in some way with the funeral. Because there were about 500 people at the funeral, this is a huge undertaking. I thought I would share some thoughts about writing thank you cards after a funeral, as well as a few tips. How long do I have to send my Thank You cards? Typically, Thank you notes should be sent within 2-3 weeks of the funeral. [1] It’s interesting to note that the timeline for thank yous after a wedding is far more lenient.  “It’s a Read more…

A-Z Blogging

The 2019 A to Z Blogging Challenge didn’t go as expected for me.  spent the months of January and February writing posts for both, Facing Cancer with Grace and Heather Erickson Author/Writer/Speaker. I scheduled them to publish automatically, as I have done in past years, planning to use April to comment on other A to Z bloggers’ posts. In past years, this has been extremely helpful. This year A to Z would take a back seat. In March, my husband’s cancer took a dramatic turn for the worse. By the end of March, after repeated visits to the hospital, including a couple of extended visits, he returned home to begin in-home hospice. That month was so intense. There wasn’t a minute that went unaccounted for. Read more…

Neuropathy

Neuropathy is a set of symptoms affecting the nervous system. Peripheral neuropathy affects your nerves, or those on the periphery of your body: Skin, fingers, toes, etc. Chemotherapy-induced peripheral neuropathy is when these symptoms are the result of chemotherapy. Symptoms of Neuropathy Numbness Pain This may be constant, or it may come and go like a sharp, shooting/stabbing pain. Tingling, pins, and needles or electric shock type pain. Muscle cramps Muscle fatigue Burning sensation Lack of dexterity, trouble buttoning shirt etc. Problems with balance Sensitivity to cold/heat Trouble swallowing Blood Pressure changes Decrease in reflexes Symptoms tend to start farthest away from your head (toes and feet) and move closer to your head over time. They are usually bilateral, affecting both sides of the body Read more…

Helping Someone in Crisis

You likely know someone whose world has been turned upside down by a life-altering diagnosis such as cancer.  If you don’t, unfortunately, you will. You want to be able to help someone in crisis, but, how?. When my husband was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer in 2012, we experienced the good the bad and the ugly when it came to the way people gave us support. Some people with good intentions ultimately caused us a lot of pain. We also had friends and family that who did things that made an amazing difference. How do you help someone in crisis? Since you’re reading this, I am sure that you want to be a blessing to the people in your life who are going through the fire Read more…

palliative care specialist

Have you ever talked with a palliative care specialist? Do you know what they do, or how they could help you with your cancer treatment? What a palliative care specialist does “Palliative care is specialized medical care for people with serious illnesses. This type of care is focused on providing patients with relief from the symptoms, pain, and stress of a serious illness-whatever the diagnosis. “The goal is to improve quality of life for both the patient and the family. Palliative care is provided by a team of doctors, nurses, and other specialists who work with a patient’s other doctors to provide an extra layer of support. Palliative care is appropriate at any age and at any stage in a serious illness, and can be Read more…

encourage a cancer patient or caregiver

One of the questions I get most frequently is how to encourage a cancer patient or caregiver. After all, when we see someone going through something so difficult, it’s natural to want to encourage them–but how? The monster they’re up against seems so immense! “I Just Don’t Know What to Say.” It’s difficult to know what to say when a friend or family member’s life is turned upside down cancer. After all, there is nothing you can you say that will change their diagnosis. But you can encourage your friend. What’s important isn’t what you say, but that you care enough to be there and listen. In fact, “I don’t know what to say,” is the perfect way to let them know that you realize Read more…

What if

Cancer can often feel like a roll of the dice. The unknown can be the hardest part of cancer and its treatment. This causes patients and their families to often ask, what if. One year into his treatment plan, Dan’s doctor declared that Dan was NED (having no evidence of disease). This is a term used to describe what people think of as a state of remission (in certain types of cancer). It is a wonderful feeling to be NED. Still, because Dan’s cancer was advanced and ultimately terminal, we had been told that it was only temporary and that at some point Dan’s cancer would rear its ugly head again. What If One thing that surprised me was how uneasy I felt, even during Read more…

Giving gifts to brighten a patient's day.

Confession: I’m a Terrible Gift Giver. I don’t know why. I just am. Each Christmas my sisters-in-law and I all exchange gifts. They are little gift bags of things that make life fun: notebooks, lotions, great pens, etc. I am always in awe of the ladies’ creativity and thoughtfulness. In comparison, my ideas are unoriginal, and my gift bags aren’t nearly as cute. Still, they appreciate my effort. Gifts are another way to show someone you care about them. Money Money can be a sensitive subject, but it is an important part of life. Many times, we’ve had people bless us with cash, checks, and gift cards just when we needed it most. Because of being self-employed Realtors, we don’t get sick pay. So, when Dan Read more…

Household Chores

There are so many things in life that require your attention, even if you are facing a crisis like cancer. Thankfully, one of those things can be somewhat ignored for a while: household chores. Unfortunately, they can’t be ignored forever. Even if you are accustomed to a neat and tidy home, it’s really important to give yourself and your family members some grace when it comes to household chores, because they can quickly pile up. This is especially true if you have children and/or teenagers at home. While the world won’t fall apart if your house is a mess, a backup of household chores can put some people on edge and overwhelm them even more. The best way to deal with this is to find Read more…

Firefighters with Cancer

It’s been 17 years since “9/11.” No doubt, you remember where you were on that day. Images of heroic first responders are etched in our memories forever. Exactly how has the health of survivors and first responders (including firefighters) at Ground Zero been impacted? Are there more firefighters with cancer than in the general population? One recent study (1) estimates 2960 new cancer cases in the WTC-exposed cohort between January 1, 2012, to December 31, 2031. This means that in the future we can expect to see greater numbers of WTC-exposed rescue and recovery workers, including firefighters with cancer. It’s still hard to find clear statistics. Collecting data takes decades, so we won’t know for many years, the full cost they paid that day. But, we Read more…

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