By heatherericksonauthor.comThe Erickson Family

Category Archives: Family Relationships

Learn more about something

This is an important question for everyone. one I recently proposed to my dad. He recently quit his job and immediately found himself going stir-crazy; bored out of his mind. I said, “Dad, what do you want to learn more about?” He’s already highly educated, but there are no limits to what we can explore in this world. Why am I writing about this on a cancer blog? It can be all too easy for cancer to take over your life. Whether you are a patient, a caregiver, or another family member, your life can quickly be taken over by the big C. We may not get bored with life like my dad, but we can certainly feel like there is nothing worth waking up Read more…

Joyful

I’m doing double duty this month during the A to Z Blogging Challenge. Here at Facing Cancer with Grace, I will focus on caregiving. I’ll also be doing the challenge at Heather Erickson Author/Writer/Speaker, where I will share ways to increase your creativity. I hope you’ll visit me at both sites. While you’re here, sign up for my email list. Today’s post is J for Joyful Despite Cancer. How can you feel joyful… …when a loved one has cancer? When we first learned that Dan had cancer, we were stunned. How could this happen? How could my husband of 3 years, be given a death sentence? I felt devastated, even angry. We went through all those classic stages of grief. I was even disappointed in Read more…

Caregiver Guilt

I’m doing double duty this month during the A to Z Blogging Challenge. Here at Facing Cancer with Grace, I will focus on caregiving. I’ll also be doing the challenge at Heather Erickson Author/Writer/Speaker, where I will share ways to increase your creativity. I hope you’ll visit me at both sites. While you’re here, sign up for my email list. Today’s post is G for Guilt Caregivers Feel. Are you blaming yourself for things that are beyond your control? Most family caregivers feel some degree of guilt, regardless of how good a job they are doing caring for the responsibilities and relationships in their lives. Caregivers often burden themselves with guilt. Caregiver guilt is not only fruitless but caustic. Don’t beat yourself up for making Read more…

acceptance

I love this picture as an image of acceptance. The ocean is bigger than us, and more powerful. Yet, there are people who will grab a surfboard and ride a wave that they have no control over. This man is getting a face full of salt water, accepting it even reveling in it. But, when you are facing something as life-changing and (arguably) as terrible as cancer, whether your own or that of a loved one, it can be a difficult thing to accept. Yet, acceptance is a key part of resilience. But, how do you do that? How do you accept something like cancer, and what exactly does that mean? The Mental Process of Acceptance The mental process of acceptance is simply making a Read more…

Critical Family Members

I’m doing double duty this month during the A to Z Blogging Challenge. Here at Facing Cancer with Grace, I will focus on caregiving. I’ll also be doing the challenge at Heather Erickson Author/Writer/Speaker, where I will share ways to increase your creativity. I hope you’ll visit me at both sites. While you’re here, sign up for my email list. Today’s post is C for Critical Family Members. I am fortunate to have a close family who is very supportive, but critical family members are a common source of stress for caregivers. Critical Family Members As a caregiver, you are likely stressed and at times feel underappreciated and unsupported. You may also be dealing with caregiver guilt. Having critical, family members can be especially difficult. Read more…

Anger and Grief

I’m doing double duty this month during the A to Z Blogging Challenge. Here at Facing Cancer with Grace, I will focus on caregiving. I’ll also be doing the challenge at Heather Erickson Author/Writer/Speaker, where I will share ways to increase your creativity. I hope you’ll visit me at both sites. While you’re here, sign up for my email list. Today’s post is A is for Anger & the Grief Process. When someone you love has cancer… You grieve. Anger is very often one of the early manifestations of that grief you may think of grief with the death of a loved one, but grief is a response to loss. This could be the loss of your health, your job, a relationship, or a lifelong Read more…

Talk to Kids about Cancer

How do you talk to kids about cancer? It’s not always easy to talk to kids about cancer (especially when it’s their mom or dad who has it). But it is important. One of the things that can make it hard to talk to kids about cancer is that they often keep their feelings hidden. One reason why they do this may surprise you. Protecting their Parents As kids grow, they become more aware that their parents have fears and feelings of their own. When a parent is diagnosed with cancer, kids will try to ease their mom’s and dad’s stress by keeping their own worries to themselves. It’s their way of protecting their parents. Unfortunately, this can cause a child’s imagination to run wild. Read more…

Ways to Offer Help when a Friend has Cancer

Have you ever gone to the store, or a restaurant and struggled to decide between all of the great options in front of you? It’s a common problem known as “choice overload.” This term was first introduced in the book, Future Shock by Alvin Toffler in 1970. With all of these great options, choosing becomes overwhelming. It takes longer to make a decision and often the decider gives up, altogether. This is really simplifying Toffler’s theory but it’s one of the reasons why many cancer patients and caregivers decline offers of help from friends and family members. Today, I will share how to overcome choice overload and find ways to offer help when a friend has cancer using multiple-choice care coordination. Where the burden of Read more…

Fear and Guilt

Dan and I first met one another in a Sunday school class ten years ago. We had both been through painful divorces, so starting over was a bit scary. Still, it wasn’t long before we knew that we were meant to marry. It was a whirlwind romance! All too soon, we would find out that even the best of marriages can be invaded by fear and guilt, especially when you are facing cancer. This is a story I’ve shared before. It bears repeating because fear and guilt are things that most people struggle with, including those of great faith. Our friend, Rick Back in 2009, The bus company that Dan worked for offered health insurance to its employees, but the policy premiums were too expensive for Read more…

Book Review

Recently, my sister-in-law gave me a gift, the book “Tear Soup,” by Pat Schwiebert and Chuck DeLkyn. Many people had recommended it to her as especially helpful for talking about grief with children. So, last night, I read it to my 3 daughters, ages 15, 17, and 20.  It gave all of us some time to reflect on what we are all going through in the wake of my husband’s death, without the awkwardness that often accompanies digging deep into your emotions and baring your soul. Meet Grandy The story follows Grandy, an older, “somewhat wise” woman who has suffered a great loss. To deal with this loss, she makes tear soup. Tear soup is a beautiful metaphor for grieving, which is carried through the Read more…

talk to children about cancer

It’s important to talk to children about cancer-even with a “bleak” prognosis. My husband, Dan was stage IV, metastatic, when he was diagnosed. So, we have always been told that his cancer was terminal and that we were buying time. The best we could hope for was that he would be labeled NED, No Evidence of Disease (like remission). It’s especially difficult to talk to children about cancer when you are given such a bleak prognosis. Our Story One year into his treatment plan, Dan was declared NED (having no evidence of disease). This is a term used to describe what people think of as a state of remission in certain types of cancer. It means that the cancer is still there, it’s just too Read more…

Thank You Cards

My husband, Dan, died on April 26th, and his funeral was held on May 4th.  Since then I’ve been tackling the task of writing thank you cards to the people who gave a gift in my husband’s memory or helped us in some way with the funeral. Because there were about 500 people at the funeral, this is a huge undertaking. I thought I would share some thoughts about writing thank you cards after a funeral, as well as a few tips. How long do I have to send my Thank You cards? Etiquette experts say that thank you notes should be sent within 2-3 weeks of the funeral. [1] It’s interesting to note that the timeline for thank yous after a wedding is far Read more…

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