Caregivers Archives - Facing Cancer With Grace

Debt: The Unexpected Toll of Cancer

Debt: The Unexpected Toll of Cancer Many people are trying to figure out how to pay off their Christmas credit card debt. But cancer patients and their families can’t plan to pay off their debt with debt a tax return. A study of 9.5 million newly diagnosed cancer patients from 2000–2012 found that 42.4% had depleted their entire life’s assets after two years. The odds were worse for patients with more aggressive cancer, cancer requiring continued treatment, as well as other demographic and socioeconomic factors.[1] Medical Expenses There are many reasons why a cancer diagnosis is one of the worst things that can happen to your finances. Topping the list are costly medical expenses. 62% of cancer patients report being in debt due to their Read more…

Caregivers, Take Care of Your Health

Take care of your health with vegetables like these

During my husband’s illness, I put off taking care of my health. I always thought there would be time to deal with it later. My husband’s health was my priority. The doctors were concerned about my weight, my high blood pressure, my racing pulse, chronic pain, and a host of other issues. I wasn’t sleeping well or eating right and I certainly wasn’t exercising. After my husband died It didn’t get any easier. I had to find a way to support my family on my own. My time was at a premium and my grief kept me in the throes of depression. I gained even more weight. All of my health issues worsened. Then, on my birthday, a year and a half after my husband Read more…

Long-Distance Caregiving Advice

a senior and a long distant caregiving aid giving the thumbs up

Are you providing long-distance caregiving support to an aging loved one with cancer? Finding strategies to overcome the miles can be challenging, and the last thing you want is to let your senior down. Thankfully, there are ways to ensure your special someone is happy and healthy, regardless of the distance between you. Facing Cancer with Grace invites you to learn more about how to stay connected. Take advantage of technology With the many advances we’re seeing in modern-day electronics, the world is becoming a smaller place all the time. Why not put that gadgetry to work for you and your senior loved one? Care.com points out, the right tech can actually be very helpful to seniors who are aging in place. Medication dispensers to Read more…

Budget-Friendly Self-Care Strategies

Budget-Friendly Self-Care Strategies: Unwind and Live Your Best Life the internet provides us with so many affordable opportunities for practicing self-care from the comfort of our homes. Free online meditations, a variety of ASMR recordings, and instructor-led yoga classes can be streamed to our tablets and laptops, and cell phones While some of us seek out self-care in the form of a massage, in-person yoga class, or a night out with friends, there are plenty of things we can do to care for our minds and bodies. Many of them are free of charge. A Necessary “Luxury” Of course, there are occasions when self-care is a necessity. This includes when you’re caring for a friend or loved one who is battling cancer. When these people Read more…

Shopping Safely for Vulnerable Adults

As a cashier, I have seen the range of emotions and responses to COVID-19 as people venture out to go shopping. Now that many states are lifting Stay-at-Home orders, people seem divided. Many are excited to be able to go to other non-essential places. They are happy to begin a return to normal. There are others, though, who must maintain the cautious social distancing that others are ready to shed. These are people who have illnesses such as cancer and their family members. For these vulnerable people, I have some suggestions for making grocery shopping safer and easier. Minimize exposure to COVID-19 and other viruses by doing any of the following Utilize InstaCart Shoppers (don’t forget to tip them) Order groceries online from the comfort Read more…

Survive the Holidays with Cancer

Surviving the holidays can be difficult when you or someone you love is literally trying to survive the holidays. This almost always means the celebration will look different. I’ve put together a few thoughts and tips to give you a leg up. To survive the holidays you must first accept that things will be different. You won’t be participating in the cookie exchange or Christmas caroling. Things that were once fun, are in this new reality, exhausting. Even if you do have the energy to do them, they may zap your reserves so that you’re left burned out. One of the best things you can do is to recognize that the holidays will look different this year—maybe from now on. That’s okay. Change is a Read more…

Taking a Break to Refresh and Renew

Every October I try to predict peak color in the deciduous trees. Then I head off to the woods in St. Francis, Minnesota to spend a few days at Pacem in Terris (Latin for “Peace on Earth”). This year, I went at the perfect time. Taking a break is something everyone should do. Sometimes you may need it more than others. I found that the harder it is to make time in your schedule, the more important taking a break is. Get beyond the guilt of taking a break. This can be hard for caregivers. You spend all of your time trying to maintain control. Walking away for a few days means giving up the reigns to someone else. You may worry about how your family Read more…

Supportive Connections : Resilience

What is resilience? It’s the ability to bounce when we come up against something tough, like cancer. Will we bounce like a rubber ball, or like a tomato? I learned a lot about resilience at the 2018 Breath of Hope Lung Foundation’s Lung Cancer Summit. Perhaps my greatest takeaways came from a talk delivered by Dr. Jeffery Kendall. PsyD, LP.[1] Dr. Kendall delivered a keynote address entitled, Resilience and Hope for Survivors & Caregivers. In the next few weeks, I am going to share a few of the things I learned from this inspiring message. I’ll start today by touching on the first key ingredient to a resilient life: supportive connections. The impact of supportive connections on cancer survivors and caregivers can’t be overlooked. Yet Read more…

Your Caregiver Team Draft Pick

It’s that time of year: NFL Draft Pick! As a caregiver, you need to have a strong team on your side. While the NFL is choosing their overpaid players, you need to choose who you can count on to be on your caregiver team to help you get through the tough road ahead. The Caregiver is the Quarterback You call all of the plays. If something takes you out of the game, the team often falls apart. So, you need a strong support system behind you. Rather than equate the rest of the team to actual football positions, I will just label them as the positions they play on the caregiver team (Because I really don’t know much about football). Your Medical Team Your medical Read more…

Dealing with Sudden Overwhelming Sadness

At some point, we will all experience it. It’s likely that most of us already have: Overwhelming sadness. How do you deal with it?

What If: Insecurity and Cancer

Cancer can often feel like a roll of the dice. The unknown can be the hardest part of cancer and its treatment. This causes patients and their families to often ask, what if. One year into his treatment plan, Dan’s doctor declared that Dan was NED (having no evidence of disease). This is a term used to describe what people think of as a state of remission (in certain types of cancer). It is a wonderful feeling to be NED. Still, because Dan’s cancer was advanced and ultimately terminal, we had been told that it was only temporary and that at some point Dan’s cancer would rear its ugly head again. What If One thing that surprised me was how uneasy I felt, even during Read more…

Giving Gifts to Brighten a Patient’s Day

Confession: I’m a Terrible Gift Giver. I don’t know why. I just am. Each Christmas my sisters-in-law and I all exchange gifts. They are little gift bags of things that make life fun: notebooks, lotions, great pens, etc. I am always in awe of the ladies’ creativity and thoughtfulness. In comparison, my ideas are unoriginal, and my gift bags aren’t nearly as cute. Still, they appreciate my effort. Gifts are another way to show someone you care about them. Money Money can be a sensitive subject, but it is an important part of life. Many times, we’ve had people bless us with cash, checks, and gift cards just when we needed it most. Because of being self-employed Realtors, we don’t get sick pay. So, when Dan Read more…

Zip Through Your Household Chores

There are so many things in life that require your attention, even if you are facing a crisis like cancer. Thankfully, one of those things can be somewhat ignored for a while: household chores. Unfortunately, they can’t be ignored forever. Even if you are accustomed to a neat and tidy home, it’s really important to give yourself and your family members some grace when it comes to household chores, because they can quickly pile up. This is especially true if you have children and/or teenagers at home. While the world won’t fall apart if your house is a mess, a backup of household chores can put some people on edge and overwhelm them even more. The best way to deal with this is to find Read more…

How do You Watch Your Loved One Suffer

when you have to watch your loved one suffer

I often write about the practical side of facing cancer. One thing I haven’t written about is what it’s like to watch your loved one suffer. It’s something that people try not to think about. Friends and family who don’t live with the patient 24/7 often miss the drama of middle of the night pain. This is a good thing. It’s not something that anyone would want to see and hear. Yet it falls to a spouse or other close caregiver to be there. This is also a good thing because no one should suffer alone. What is like, really, to watch your loved one suffer? The best way I can describe it is a feeling of utter helplessness. You want to make the pain Read more…

Hospice and Palliative Care

The battles of the war against cancer are waged, daily within the bodies of patients young and old, wealthy and poor. There we have made great strides. In 2014, “UK death rates for breast, bowel, lung and prostate cancer combined are down by almost a third in 20 years.” (1) Yet, like any war, the casualties at the hands of this disease are great. That’s when hospice and palliative care enter the picture. Curing vs. Healing There comes a time when we need to switch from curative treatment to healing efforts. We can heal, even as we die. There can be healing of relationships, spiritual healing, letting go of the things that never should have been clung to in the first place. Hospice and palliative Read more…

Hospice Hope: A Book Review

Today I will be sharing my review of the book, “Hospice Hope: Uplifting Stories of Those in Hospice” by Chaplain Dale A. Swan. I met Chaplain Dale when my husband was in hospice. He gave me his book to help me through that time, I was so impressed that I wanted to write a review of it. The first thing that I noticed was Chaplain Dale’s voice in the stories he wrote for “Hospice Hope.” Reading the short reflections was like talking to him, with his positive and yet, sensitive manner. Hospice Hope? You wouldn’t think that reading stories about people dying would be very uplifting, but it was! Each story truly offered hope: Hope for a good death, hope for reconciliation with loved ones Read more…

X (10) Healthy Ways to Cope with Stress

Here are 10 healthy ways to cope with the stress and anxiety that often accompany caregiving: Play a Game 50% of all men and 48% of all women play video games[1], including me. Of course, playing an analog game is another healthy way to cope with stress. You can play a board game as a family or if you prefer to play solo, a deck of cards can provide lots of enjoyment. While many people view this as a waste of time, there are positive things about gaming (in moderation). One of them is stress relief. Games provide an escape from the pressures you may be under as a caregiver. It’s important that you don’t spend so much time playing games, that you fall behind Read more…

Walking to Keep Burnout at Bay

Caregivers often experience greater depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues, than their non-caregiving counterparts. Aerobic exercise, such as walking, has been proven to improve your mood while reducing stress and anxiety. Even as little as 5 minutes of this movement can make a difference. Walking increases the feel-good neurotransmitters, endorphins. The caregiver’s physical health tends to suffer as well.[1] One of the best, most available ways to improve your health is to start walking. Walking improves your overall physical health. This is important because an additional health issue will only add to the things on your plate. Mindful Walking Mindful walking is an excellent way to combine the physical and mental benefits of movement and mindfulness. This video will take you through one way Read more…

Unload 3 Things: Should’ve, Would’ve, Could’ve

Should’ve, would’ve, could’ve is the root of senseless guilt. I… …should’ve pushed him to see the doctor sooner. …would’ve been a better husband if only… …could’ve been more understanding. …should’ve known better. …would’ve had our water tested if… …could’ve driven mom to the doctor that time if only… Refocus All of these things have a way of pulling us back into the past when what we need to be focused on are today and tomorrow. We spent years wondering just what it was that caused my husband’s cancer. This is pretty common. It’s our way of trying to make sense of something so senseless. We’ve picked through his life to try to figure out when the turning point was. He wasn’t a smoker. Was it Read more…

A Circle of Support: The Ring Theory

The Ring Theory-Finding Your Circle of Support The Ring Theory was created by breast cancer survivor and clinical psychologist, Dr. Susan Silk Ph.D., and arbitrator/mediator, Barry Goldman. The gist of it is this: Comfort in. Dump out. Who you comfort, and who you “dump” your grief on (in other words, who comforts you) will determine what circle of support you reside in. Take out a piece of paper. In the middle of the page, draw a small circle. Label it with the patient’s name. The patient is in the center circle of support because the patient is the center of their cancer universe. It is everyone else’s job to support them. No one is allowed to dump on the patient. What does that mean? The Read more…

Category Archives: Caregivers

Debt: The Unexpected Toll of Cancer

Caregivers, Take Care of Your Health

Long-Distance Caregiving Advice

Budget-Friendly Self-Care Strategies

Shopping Safely for Vulnerable Adults

Survive the Holidays with Cancer

Taking a Break to Refresh and Renew

Supportive Connections : Resilience

Your Caregiver Team Draft Pick

Dealing with Sudden Overwhelming Sadness

What If: Insecurity and Cancer

Giving Gifts to Brighten a Patient’s Day

Zip Through Your Household Chores

How do You Watch Your Loved One Suffer

Hospice and Palliative Care

Hospice Hope: A Book Review

X (10) Healthy Ways to Cope with Stress

Walking to Keep Burnout at Bay

Unload 3 Things: Should’ve, Would’ve, Could’ve

A Circle of Support: The Ring Theory

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