Every October I try to predict peak color in the deciduous trees. Then I head off to the woods in St. Francis, Minnesota to spend a few days at Pacem in Terris (Latin for “Peace on Earth”). This year, I went at the perfect time. Taking a break is something everyone should do. Sometimes you may need it more than others. I found that the harder it is to make time in your schedule, the more important taking a break is.
Get beyond the guilt of taking a break.
This can be hard for caregivers. You spend all of your time trying to maintain control. Walking away for a few days means giving up the reigns to someone else. You may worry about how your family will fare without you. You might even harbor subconscious concerns that they can get along just fine without you and that maybe you aren’t as important as you thought.
The good news is that they can get along. When you come back from taking a break, refreshed and renewed, you will find that your family missed you and is very glad to have you home. That level of appreciation feels pretty good.
Taking a break means taking care of yourself.
As a caregiver, you need to take care of your own health and well being, too. The first step to doing that is to gain awareness of how you’re doing. otherwise, you can be so busy caring for your family that you don’t realize YOUR energy reserves are down to nothing.
Quiet restores your soul.
The hermitage I visit each October is a place of silence. Sometimes the silence is hard for people to get used to. You may spend the first day checking the time, thinking about your usual routine obligations. I actually put the clock in the closet and go to sleep before I do anything. The founder of the hermitage once told me that sleep can be the most important thing you accomplish. Your body and mind heal as you sleep. Interestingly, you burn more calories as you sleep deeply because of how many your brain consumes during that time.
Spending time with God renews you.
In the hustle and bustle of caregiving, it’s easy to push God to the side. It is likely that this is the time you most need to hear His voice. Taking a break from the work of caregiving allows you the time to stop and listen. How to best accomplish this will depend on you.
Do you learn best by reading? Read the Bible, other spiritual writing, or even a secular book that speaks to you and what you’re going through.
Does being in nature help you feel refreshed and closer to god? Take a walk. A Stanford Study has shown that taking a walk improves creativity. it gives you clarity of mind that will help you to better see who you are and what you need. You can return from this mini-retreat inspired. You may even have some ideas of how to do things differently in your caregiving journey.
Do you like to pray? I hope so. This is a wonderful way to invite God to speak to you and give you clarity. It can be as simple as saying, “Lord, I really need to know your will in this situation. Please open my eyes to see and my ears to hear what you want me to do/know.” The (and this is key) LISTEN. I simply sit in the silence. Sometimes, I even fall asleep and have inspiring dreams during these times.
You don’t have to go away for days.
Even a few hours of leaving home to get a massage, have coffee with a friend, or take a walk in a local park can refresh you. Find what works for your needs and lifestyle. Don’t be afraid to try something different. You may just find a new way of renewing yourself so that when you return to caregiving, you feel better than ever about what you are doing.
What are YOUR thoughts?
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In 2012 doctors diagnosed my husband, Dan, with stage IV lung cancer. Since then, our family has been learning what it means to face cancer. I’ve focused my writing and speaking on helping cancer patients and their families advocate for themselves and live life to the fullest, in spite of their illness. My goal is to help people face cancer with grace.
My book Facing Cancer as a Friend: How to Support Someone Who Has Cancer, is available on Amazon.com
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I also blog at Heather Erickson Author/Writer/Speaker