I’m doing double duty this month during the A to Z Blogging Challenge. Here at Facing Cancer with Grace, I will focus on caregiving. I’ll also be doing the challenge at Heather Erickson Author/Writer/Speaker, where I will share ways to increase your creativity. I hope you’ll visit me at both sites. While you’re here, sign up for my email list. Today’s post is T for Time Management & Cancer.
One of the things that I was surprised by when my husband was diagnosed with cancer, is how out of control our calendar became. We used to have this nice big calendar that hung on our refrigerator. It was always pretty full but under control. Within a couple weeks of my husband finding those enlarged, hardened lymph nodes along his collarbone, we realized that we needed to completely revamp our time management skills.
In the Beginning
In the beginning, everything that wasn’t a medical appointment had to go.Dan was being diagnosed and we needed to be as flexible as possible. After all, we were racing the clock in the hope that we could learn what we were dealing with and fight it while it was still curable. That flexibility with our time management meant we would grab any opening the clinic had for tests, biopsies, scans, and consultations. Dan was diagnosed, staged, and had a treatment plan within two or three weeks, which is really quite fast.
Time Management and Treatment Schedules
Things did calm down a bit after that, but with each new treatment, we had to again change our time management. Initially, when you start a new treatment, you study up on what you can expect.
- What’s the administration schedule?
- What are the probable side effects and when can we expect them to kick in?
- Will those side effects taper off? If so, when?
- Will the side effects get worse as the drug builds up in his system?
- What drugs will be used to counteract those side effects?
- What are the side effects of those drugs?
- How often will he have scans?
- When will we know if the treatment is working?
These are all questions that we are still asking about Dan’s latest treatment plan. Often each round is different than the previous one, so you need to remain flexible. Because we still aren’t sure of the answers yet (2 rounds in) we are still tweaking out time management skills.
One example of this:
Dan had gotten several Gemzar drips when suddenly he had a terrible reaction. This meant an unexpected trip to the emergency room and steroids to get the rash he had under control. We wondered if he would even be able to continue his treatment. He was, but they had to make some changes. One of those changes is removing the drug Neulasta from his treatment plan. This drug boosts white cells, protecting him from a serious illness. This could mean more trips to the emergency room and definitely warrants using care with going out in public.
Several years ago he was on a treatment that dropped his white cells. He developed Neutropenia with fevers that sent him to the emergency room weekly. He could no longer go out in public. This meant no work and no church. The kids and I needed to be careful as well. We lived in fear of unwittingly bringing some virus home that would send him to the hospital. Time management meant always being willing to cancel our plans. It was easier just to plan on staying home.
For me as the caregiver, Dan’s isolation meant that it was up to me to take care of transporting the kids to appointments and activities. And with three daughters, one with special needs, I was kept hopping.
So, How DO I Do It?
First of all, I got a good planner. I had always used a calendar for time management in the past, but those tiny boxes just didn’t cut it. I bought an At-A-Glance Planner because it had plenty of room to write down my daily obligations and appointments. Plus, I could see my entire week in one spread. Every night I look at the next day’s schedule—plus the rest of the week so nothing pops up and surprises me. Also, once a week my husband and I have a time management huddle. We look at one another’s calendars over coffee to prevent any scheduling conflicts. If one comes up, we decide how to work it out. Sometimes that means asking for help from family or friends. There have been times when we’ve used the CaringBridge task planner to ask for a volunteer driver.
When things get hectic, I clear my calendar of everything non-medical. From there, I fill in things if I feel like can handle it. This really takes the pressure off by removing the feeling of obligation.
How you do it will depend on what works for you and your family. It takes a bit of experimentation to find your new groove, but you will do it! I’d love to hear about your time management tips.
I’m in the early stages of putting together a resource page for caregivers of cancer patients. I’d love it if you’d check it out and email me any suggestions of resources you’d recommend. While you’re here, sign up for my email list to get a periodic email newsletter to encourage you on your cancer journey.
WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS?
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In 2012 doctors diagnosed my husband, Dan, with stage IV lung cancer. Since then, our family has been learning what it means to face cancer. I’ve focused my writing and speaking on helping cancer patients and their families advocate for themselves and live life to the fullest, in spite of their illness. My goal is to help people face cancer with grace.
My book Facing Cancer as a Friend: How to Support Someone Who Has Cancer, is available on Amazon.com
Also, put your memories into words with The Memory Maker’s Journal.
I also blog at Heather Erickson Author/Writer/Speaker