Should’ve, would’ve, could’ve is the root of senseless guilt. I…
…should’ve pushed him to see the doctor sooner.
…would’ve been a better husband if only…
…could’ve been more understanding.
…should’ve known better.
…would’ve had our water tested if…
…could’ve driven mom to the doctor that time if only…
Refocus
All of these things have a way of pulling us back into the past when what we need to be focused on are today and tomorrow.
We spent years wondering just what it was that caused my husband’s cancer. This is pretty common. It’s our way of trying to make sense of something so senseless. We’ve picked through his life to try to figure out when the turning point was. He wasn’t a smoker. Was it the pollution in Cairo that spring? It could’ve been radon—or asbestos. He should’ve worn a mask that one time he worked with asbestos 30 years ago.
All of this is fruitless.
We can’t change the past. We’ll go crazy if we keep trying to figure it out. There’s no way of knowing. And if there was, what difference would it make?
The A to Z Blogging Challenge
Once again I will be doing double duty in the A to Z Blogging Challenge. I will be sharing ways to avoid burnout, here at Facing Cancer with Grace. At Heather Erickson Author/Writer/Speaker, I will share ways of thinking creatively, using Brainsparker’s Kickstart Course of A to Z prompts. I hope you’ll visit me at both sites.
What Are Your Thoughts?
What helps you make a shift in perspective? I’d love to hear in the comment section, below. I appreciate my readers as well as the writing community. To show that appreciation, I use Comment Luv. Just leave a comment below and your latest post will get a link next to it. Thank you!
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ABOUT HEATHER ERICKSON
In 2012 doctors diagnosed my husband, Dan, with stage IV lung cancer. Since then, our family has been learning what it means to face cancer. I’ve focused my writing and speaking on helping cancer patients and their families advocate for themselves and live life to the fullest, in spite of their illness. My goal is to help people face cancer with grace.
My book Facing Cancer as a Friend: How to Support Someone Who Has Cancer, is available on Amazon.com
Also, check out Facing Cancer as a Parent: Helping Your Children Cope with Your Cancer.
Also, put your memories into words with The Memory Maker’s Journal.
I also blog at Heather Erickson Author/Writer/Speaker
2 comments on “Unload 3 Things: Should’ve, Would’ve, Could’ve”
Archana
April 26, 2019 at 12:40 amWe cannot change the past or undo our actions or take back our words. No use spending time in regret or grief. We just need to get on with the task in hand. My prayers with you and family. Take care!
Archana recently posted…W is Why Me?
facingcancerwithgrace
May 19, 2019 at 2:26 pmThank you, Archana. No, regret never gets us very far. Better to move forward. We can only make decisions based on what we know and often they are the best at the time.