
I’m doing double duty this month during the A to Z Blogging Challenge. Here at Facing Cancer with Grace, I will focus on caregiving. I’ll also be doing the challenge at Heather Erickson Author/Writer/Speaker, where I will share ways to increase your creativity. I hope you’ll visit me at both sites. While you’re here, sign up for my email list. Today’s post is E is for Exercise Increases Creativity.
Young adults, ages 18-26 take a close second to infants, when it comes to being overlooked and under-supported, as they live with a parent’s cancer diagnosis. To drop them off the radar when they turn 18 is really a disservice to them. Even though their emotional and physical growth has slowed down, having an adult body does not always mean being grown-up. Children continue to develop emotionally and neurologically until they are twenty-six years old. It’s shocking when you consider that many children of cancer patients are also young adult caregivers.
Ages 18-26
The stage of emerging from adolescence to adulthood can be a complex yet exciting time of growth. Young adults are focusing on themselves, their education, career, marriage, and sexuality. Finding out that a parent has cancer during this time can be a huge shock to an eighteen to twenty-six-year-old, especially if they are thrust into the role of a caregiver. They’ve barely finished high school, and have all sorts of plans for their life. They may be transitioning to college.
Young Adult Caregivers in College
Young adults comprise 12–18% of adult caregivers, and the average age of a young adult caregiver is 21 years old. Many young adult caregivers are attending college. Research has found that caregiving by college students has been associated with:
- Greater difficulty transitioning to college,
- Less social interaction
- Higher levels of stress and depression
- Stress due to inexperience in fulfilling caregiver duties
Often they have to change what school they were going to attend, take time off, or completely quit college because of their parent’s illness. Their mind (and often their time) is so focused on caring for their parent with cancer that it’s difficult to give school or their job their full attention and effort.
Just getting on their feet
Young adults Caregivers are thinking about starting their career, and sometimes of getting married. Everything they looked forward to is on hold so that they can do the right thing. They may go from being a child to being a caregiver—and they are not yet done developing. They might feel a sense of isolation within their peer groups because it is difficult for their friends to understand what they are going through. Since young adults have a strong need for community, this can leave them feeling very alone. Support can be the difference between young adult caregivers who prosper and those who will struggle.
Helpful Tips for Young Adult Caregivers
- Seek out guidance and support.
- Don’t be discouraged when you make mistakes. That is one of the ways you will learn.
- Find positive role models.
- If you are starting, or are already in college, make an appointment with your academic counselor to discuss a plan in case the patient’s health begins to impact your grades.
- If your loved one’s cancer is terminal, address the possibility of them dying during their time at the school.
- Talk with your financial aid adviser to see how any scholarship or loans will be affected by a hiatus of 6 months to a year, in case you need to take some time off.
- Check-in with your school’s mental health adviser. Even if you are handling things well now, it’s a good idea to know who you can reach out to if things change and you need extra support.
- Many employers offer mental health services. Set up an appointment with a therapist through your medical insurance plan.
- You might need to try out more than once in order to find someone who you connect with.
It’s important to get the support you need to get through this time. Remember, you’re not alone, there are therapists, counselors, and even online and community support groups to help you through this.
Resources
I’m in the early stages of putting together a resource page for caregivers of cancer patients. I’d love it if you’d check it out and email me any suggestions of resources you’d recommend. While you’re here, sign up for my email list to get a periodic email newsletter to encourage you on your cancer journey.
WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS?
I’d love to hear in the comment section, below. I appreciate my readers as well as the writing community. To show that appreciation, I use Comment Luv. Just leave a comment below and your latest post will get a link next to it. Thank you!
ABOUT HEATHER ERICKSON
In 2012 doctors diagnosed my husband, Dan, with stage IV lung cancer. Since then, our family has been learning what it means to face cancer. I’ve focused my writing and speaking on helping cancer patients and their families advocate for themselves and live life to the fullest, in spite of their illness. My goal is to help people face cancer with grace.
My book Facing Cancer as a Friend: How to Support Someone Who Has Cancer, is available on Amazon.com
Also, check out Facing Cancer as a Parent: Helping Your Children Cope with Your Cancer.
Also, put your memories into words with The Memory Maker’s Journal.
I also blog at Heather Erickson Author/Writer/Speaker
5 comments on “Young Adult Caregivers Ages 18-26”
Jacqui
April 28, 2018 at 3:07 pmIt is daunting to think of this age group as caregivers. You don’t always get to choose your life path, do you?
facingcancerwithgrace
April 28, 2018 at 5:08 pmHi Jacqui. No, you really don’t. I have been so surprised at how many people I meet who lost a parent by the time they were 25. It’s a heavy load to carry. I am very impressed by how our 19-year-old has handled it. She thinks in the long term and the immediate with great balance. That’s difficult for me to do.
Tizzy Brown
April 28, 2018 at 6:29 pmYou’re so right in saying this age group is overlooked. It’s such a challenging and uncertain time already, without the added pressure of caring for a sick parent. It must be really hard.
facingcancerwithgrace
April 30, 2018 at 2:17 amHi Tizzy. I have watched my daughter carry herself with grace through all of this. Thankfully, I am my husband’s main caregiver. But, her sensitive, caring, personality leads to her worrying a lot about both her dad and me. So, we have to pay close attention to make sure she is okay.
Zoe Campos
September 1, 2020 at 5:46 amThanks for telling me that I shouldn’t feel down and discouraged even if I commit mistakes. I’m planning to learn how to become a caregiver but I’m afraid that my patients’ lives would depend on my decisions. Your article had motivated me to work harder so I can learn from my mistakes and use them properly in the future.